We Asked The Experts: Is formality going out of fashion at family events or do we need to level up?

A 2023 poll by YouGov found that only seven percent of office workers wear a suit. There is a perception that formalwear is now reserved for family gatherings like weddings and funerals. Yet today’s millennial generation favours a more informal approach to even the most serious family occasions, too.

Smart casual has become a popular choice for weddings, especially in summer, as it strikes a balance between comfort and style. Also, with the highest number of newlyweds being in their late 20s, it feels more natural to millennials who seldom if ever wear a tie or a hat in everyday life. It means guests can be more imaginative and creative with what they wear, choosing comfortable clothes and adding fun accessories like scarves and fascinators to create their own look.

The same applies to other family gatherings. Traditional black mourning clothes are becoming much less common at funerals, as both families and the wishes of the departed are tending towards focusing the event on celebrating a person’s life instead of mourning his or her death. Instead, attendees are commonly asked to wear bright colours that reflect the personality of the life being celebrated.

Both of these examples make sense. But the less formal nature of family events, both in terms of dress code and practices, throws up some challenges, too. We have invited a range of experts to give us their views.

Can ladies still wear a hat or fascinator to a wedding with a smart casual dress code?

Of course! A summer sun hat or a fascinator is a fun accessory that is easy to combine with a smart casual look. Just make sure you take it off for the ceremony so you don’t block the view of the other guests. Make sure the hat is tasteful though – no baseball caps, visors, or beanies! Cristina Montemayor, writing for Brides

What are attendees expected to wear at a celebration of life?

Most of the time the “dress code” will be addressed in the invitation or clues can be taken from the areas listed below. Also, you can’t go wrong by asking the host if they don’t make it clear in the invitation.
Location of the event – A family member’s backyard carries a different expectation than a country club or church.
Activities – Celebrating the honouree’s love of bowling with a game, planting a garden or storytelling at a podium would all dictate different requirements in dressing.
Favourite colours – You are usually not required to wear all black to a celebration of life but it is a kind gesture to include the honouree’s favourite colour when deciding what to wear.
Weather – Seasons and daily weather will play a role in what you wear. If you are planting a garden, feel free to wear your rain jacket (even if it is bright yellow).
Lindsey Nickel, Celebration of Life Planner at Lovely Day Legacies

In what ways are you seeing casual influences merging with formal headwear?

“Where traditionally a Mother of the Bride or Groom would have worn a big hat, now with weddings being more informal they are choosing a simpler headband or small fascinator. They still want to make an effort and stand out as a member of the wedding party but don’t feel the need to go for a large statement hat.

A modern millinery piece on a headband is also a lot easier to put on and take off yourself, so you don’t have to keep it on all day, and you also don’t get the dreaded ‘hat hair ‘ where your hair is flattened down from wearing a hat!” Cotswolds Milliner Gemma Sangwine

Are you seeing a trend towards more casual attire at family events such as weddings?

“We have just come through a third successive super busy post-pandemic wedding year and there are no signs of grooms moving towards a more casual look for their big day.

While guests might not be minded to dress up as much, most of the grooms we make outfits for will either be in some form of suit (three piece is very popular) or a dinner suit (Daniel Craig’s black tie outfits from Casino Royale and Skyfall are still very popular!).

Even summer weddings in heat will have grooms wearing a full suit even if it’s a high quality linen or linen/wool blend.

On average grooms are spending more on their wedding outfits than ever before and are very interested in how good tailoring can make them look their best. Many are directed by their fiancée to ensure they look the perfect complement and won’t be permitted to “dress down”!

In an age of social media and the need to be “Instagramable”, the suit is still the gold standard when it comes to grooms wanting to look their best for the big day.” Roberto Revilla of Roberto Revilla London

How do you advise clients on balancing comfort with formality for family events?

“We always listen to our customers when they come into the shop. I think it’s important to get an idea of what they like, then try to match that with what will suit them with regards to colour and style of suit.

Hopefully we can give them the confidence to try something they would never have thought of wearing.” Barry Hazeldine of Best Man Suit Hire.

How do you balance classic tailoring principles with modern design and technology?

“We blend classic tailoring principles with modern design and technology by honouring time-tested techniques while embracing new materials and digital tools. For example, in formal wear, we use high-performance fabrics that offer better breathability and fit, paired with precise digital measurements to create suits that are both timeless and cutting-edge” Tom Vachitov, Store Manager, Buckleigh of London

How do you think consumer attitudes towards sustainability are influencing the market for formalwear and luxury fashion?

“Luxury has a long way to go to really be sustainable. New brands like Carzana using natural dyes for LFW are incredible or Phoebe English with her commitment to working within a small radius and ethical supply chain, but the growth agenda of the industry means investors want to see growing margins and until we see credit for ethical and environmental impacts as highly as growing numbers we have an issue with the sector based on the arguably wrong metric. That’s why building a creative wellbeing economy is so important to counteract the growth at all costs agenda.” Tamara Cincik

Founder and CEO – Fashion Roundtable FRSA

How do you guide clients in selecting appropriate formalwear for family events that balances tradition with personal style?

“For any event It’s important to take a few things into consideration. First, what is the expectation and circumstance of the event? What message do you want to send? You should be formal enough to satisfy the importance of the event and yet show that you aren’t stuffy and can relax.

If it’s in church such as weddings and christenings tend to be more formal than parties. A dress or dress and jacket in pretty colours or wonderful fabrics are always correct, yet show your style. (Black is still the favourite colour for funerals in a more formally constructed outfit.)

Even a trouser suit would work in a nice colour, not black, grey, navy. Court shoes or high heel sandals in summer and accessories add to the formality of the outfit. A fascinator for weddings is always pretty and shows that you have made an effort. Long summer dresses are also more casual but still dressed up. Hair can be up or down. I know long straight locks are still in fashion but doing something different with your hair would again show that you have made an effort. Curling it or putting it into braids is always a different look and also adding a flower or hair ornament shows your personal style.

For other family affairs, such as Christmas lunch, birthdays, and celebrations in people houses, a more relaxed and casual look is expected these days, but not clean- the- car relaxed. A signature piece of jewellery such as a necklace and earrings also show your personality.

Whatever you wear, pay attention to your grooming. It’s unlikely, but don’t show up with soiled clothing needing repair or badly fitting garments. At best people are surprised you made no effort and at worst, it could be perceived as disrespectful and that you don’t care.” Lynne Marks AICI CIM, International Director, London Image Institute

How do you suggest accessorising formal outfits for family events to enhance the overall look while keeping it elegant and appropriate?

“Accessories always pull an outfit together and make it stand out. If it’s a simple formal look, a statement necklace or statement clutch bag can really make the outfit pop. However, sometimes simplicity is key. Sometimes, something like a beautiful pearl necklace can make any outfit chic and classic. For gentlemen, the perfect set of cufflinks and/or watches can make any suit or tuxedo look smarter!” Lucy Mary, fashion and lifestyle blogger.